Sunday, October 31, 2010

I'm Back

Hello! So sorry it's been forever since I've posted anything here. I have a whole list of posts ready in my head, just haven't been able to transfer them to the computer yet. Maybe in November I can....

Unfortunately, this is a big part of living with E.I. - wanting to do things, but not being able to; planning to do things one day and not being able to do them until much later; feeling frustrated, feeling useless....

One of the worst things for those of us with E.I. is having to listen to "motivational" speeches. What's the use of getting all "motivated" when you can't do anything about it? So much of our culture revolves around what we do, what we accomplish, pushing ourselves to do better, try harder, excel more than others.... For me the challenge is to NOT do, to NOT push my body, to NOT try harder - but to learn to be still, to accept the limitations God puts on me, to wait patiently for HIM to act, for HIM to change my circumstances, for HIM to do something through me.

Just once, I'd like to hear a "motivational" speech like that.
"Don't cram more things in your schedule. Don't push your body past what it can do. Don't try to accomplish more than your neighbor. Instead slow down. Listen. Wait. Let God act."
Wouldn't that be a shocker to the rest of the world.

Psalm 147:10-11 says, "His pleasure is not in the strength of the horse, nor His delight in the legs of a man; the LORD delights in those who fear Him, who put their hope in His unfailing love."

That's what I want to do. I want to Fear God - to acknowledge that HIS plan is best, even when it's not what I would have chosen, to remember that He doesn't make mistakes and He worthy of my praise - always. I want to put my Hope in the LORD - to trust in Him, to have a good attitude wherever He puts me, and to never forget His love for me.

That is what God delights in. Not how much I get done, how great my accomplishments are, or how many people know my name. He delights in those who acknowledge Him as GOD and who rest in His love.

So even if I never get to make another post on this blog, it's ok. If it takes another year, or two, or three, or more...until I have a "normal" life again, that's ok too. If I never get to do all the things my heart has dreamed about, it'll be ok.

As long as God delights in me, I believe I can be happy and fulfilled.
May that be the prayer of all of our hearts.